Steps to a Happy Relationship

Steps to a Fulfilling Relationship

Know the difference between falling in love and being in love. They are not the same. Also you need to realize that if people can fall in love they can equally fall out of love. Ask anyone eighteen months or more into a relationship are they are likely to agree. The word ‘love’ isn’t just a noun. To have a blissful relationship you need to make this a verb – the action word. So each day when you wake up you need to consider what you can do today to make this a better relationship if required and a totally blissful relationship if there are no problems. Why you need to keep it blissful to keep the romance within the said relationship.
Learn to be interested in your partner and what going on in his/her life. Whilst most of us have very busy lives, this step need only take 10 minutes and in that way, your partner knows you care for them and are important to you. An example of this could be: your male partner has come running into the room screaming that his favorite scooter team has just won. Yes this is not high on the agenda of most women. However, still show some interest even if it is the last thing you personally are interested in. It could be as simple as asking what the score was or how much did they win by? If you do not show interest in your partner’s interests or what going on in their life besides the relationship with you, it is only a matter of time before this partner heads out the door looking for someone who is more willing to invest time in them. Of course this works both ways. He needs to show interest in you.

Ask you partner the following questions once a month.
  • What else can I do to improve our relationship?
  • Get her/him to ask you the same question and both listen to each others needs without judgement or making the other person feel wrong.
  • Make sure you both take note of the answers and act upon them.

Four times a year (every quarter) tell your partner what you value most that they are doing for your relationship together. Also ask her/him to continue doing this as you value and appreciate it. This acts as praise and reinforces your love for each other. Of course both partners need to do this for each other.

Every month give each other a surprise. That means twelve times a year. The surprise in question does not have to be expensive or a material present. It could be something as simple as a candle-lit dinner at home for just the two of you (if you have children – arrange to have the children on a sleep-over). A picnic at your favourite spot, beach or bushland. These little gestures all show your partner that you care about her/him and that you’re very much connected to each other.

Never let the sun go down upon a disagreement. Powerful forces are at work when you having an argument and then to go off to bed still stewing about it is asking for trouble. Call a truce upon sunset. Kiss each other and put the matter on hold until you have both calmed down and set a new time schedule to fix things up.

If there are children involved – there is a need to make an agreement to be united in your approach to parenting, no matter what. This means on how you are going to discipline them, diet, religious issues etc. This is even more important if you have a blended family. Don’t let your unhappiness with each other allow a child to forge an even better split between you.

Now something for the ladies ONLY:
How to teach your male to listen to you. It will take time and your patience, but the end result is worth it – a secure relationship. 

Begin a conversation with him about his favorite subject – whatever that is, ask questions. If it is sport for the statistics, males pride themselves on knowing this type of information. As you listen, ask questions that allow him to talk freely and open about it. Then make a smooth transition onto another subject. Example is following:
Lady: Hi Darling, who won the game last night?
Gentleman: We did (he says with pride)

Notice that the answer as very short & sweet. In case you are not aware on average men use only approx 7,000 words a day against a ladies 18,000. Of course you did not did this exercise whilst he is actually in the process of watching a game – he will get annoyed with you – it would be very wrong timing to attempt a conversation.

Lady: What was the score?
Gentleman 12 – 4 (Cricket)
Lady: I bet Brian (your mate’s best friend) was happy with that result.
Gentleman: Yeah
Lady: How is his wife doing these days? It has been ages since we caught up. (Noticed lady has changed the subject smoothly)
Gentleman: Oh, she's O.K. I think. (now it is very likely that your mate has no clue whatsoever because men do not tend to discuss their relationship with other male friends).
Lady: I heard that Brian and Milly are building an extension (New subject)
Gentleman: Yeah, they putting on an extra bedroom.
Lady: Wow, that extra space will come in handy. You know that is a really great idea of Brian. Perhaps we could also consider that idea and have a bar & games room as well as an area for my arts and crafts.
Gentleman: Yeah, that would be great. We will need to look at the budget first, but I think we could also swing it.
So ladies, there some ideas for you to consider. That all times, keep it short and sweet and when on a new subject, stick to that one before introducing a further one. Men like to discuss one subject at a time. 

Now the best way to communicate to your female partner.

For the gentleman ONLY: Please keep in mind that women by nature are more emotional than males. That DOES NOT MAKE THEM BASKET CASES!!

Gentleman: Hi Darling, how did you day go? Oh Oh (she had a bad day)
Lady: She launches into: I have had it – with my boss and that shitting job. He expects me to do too much and keep adding things on, just when I thought I was free to come home.
Gentleman: Oh I am so sorry to hear you have had a bad day – do you want to tell me all about it (yes she does and if you are smart you will let her without interruption).
Lady: Pour her troubles out on her partner.
Gentleman: In approx 10 minutes time. Sweetheart, is there anything I can do to improve your day?
Lady: YES, and then is most likely to give the gentleman a couple of tasks to do around the home.
Gentleman: Feeling a little overwhelmed says. Right now I can look after ?? for you, but I need to put over the other tasks until later tonight, is that alright with you?

GENTLEMAN WHATEVER YOU DO – DO NOT PUT ON YOUR MR FIX IT CAP – that means start telling your female partner how to fix the problems particularly whilst you is telling you to story. She needs to offload her feelings at present. When things are clam, it may be possible to look at solutions together.
The final step to a blissful relationship is:


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